That feeling that never goes away...

Last night as i departed Singapore for Dubai, the meloncholy sets in and the feet gets heavy as i lugged my luggage down to my dad's car. The immense sense of loss when somebody is gone is incredible and hard to stomach. I remember the countless number of times i murmured to myself as i walk towards the custom officers. How i wish i could stay.. How i wish you were with me till the very last minute when we really really have to part. Unfortunately, that is impossible, and the phone is probably the only tool that connects us.

My eyes started to well with tears, but i have to remember the Image i am obliged to uphold once i donned on the uniform. The professional image this uniform brings forth to the world and anyone wearing it has got to toss any matter of the heart to a side. This is the hard part. We are human afterall. But the hardest part punches in when you have a brief moment to yourself during the take-off and landing when you disengaged from work.

I've always wished you had a better someone. Someone who can replace me, someone who can give you happiness and unconditional love. I thought I would be able to give you my blessings when that day comes but I was gravely wrong!

Now I have a taste of what it feels like to become an insignificant person in your life and being powerless to bring back the love that we had before. Moving out of the place I had in your heart before is the ultimate. I could have died just by telling myself to move on because you already had. I am finally able to emphatize with what my selfishness had put you through. How could I have done that? You must be thinking it never pays to be good to someone, not with me at least. I'm heartbroken but i do not need symphathy or respect because I simply don't deserve it.

And hearing you said you dun love me anymore is death to me and death is complete and definite in itself.

The love I have for you, it never left. It'll never go away, not ever i promise.